Month: November 2001

You are my friend, and I love you.

It’s a simple thing to say. But sometimes I think the people I say it to don’t comprehend the depth of what I mean when I say it. It means that I’m always there for you, in as much capacity as I can be. It means that you are never imposing, it means that you are never taking up time I could better spend elsewhere. It means that when you are down, I want to pick you up. It means that I’m there to hold you when you feel like you’re slipping away. It means you never have to spend the night alone.

It means that I care about you, and all your ups and downs, that I will walk beside you during your trials, and be the first in line to give you a huge hug when you triumph.

It means that there’s no need to say “I’m sorry.” It means that no matter how disconnected you might feel, there is ever one person in this world who cares what’s going through your head.

I don’t always have solutions, or suggestions, or even the right words. I’m not always wise, and I’m not always thoughtful. But, when you need me, I will always be there.

Because you are my friend. And I love you.

I hate roller coasters.

I don’t mean in the physical amusement park ride sense, really. I don’t /love/ roller coasters the way some people do. i can take them or leave them, but they can be fun with the right people to ride along with.

I hate emotional roller coasters.

A lot of my avoidance issues come from the fact that I tend to shy away from conflict. I’d rather keep an even keel and work through things, steadily, than get involved in tempests. I’d rather talk things out than argue. And I’d much, much rather take up ground at a steady pace than have to rush around and do things in a frenzy. I like calm. I like peace. I like comfort.

I don’t like roller coasters.

Ferris wheels, on the other hand, are lovely. Yes, there’s ups and downs, but they’re steady and gentle, and if you put in a good word with the guy at the switch, he might even let you stop at the top for a while.

I want my life to be like a ferris wheel. I’d gladly slip the guy at the switch a twenty to arrange a temporary “malfunction” while I’m up at the top, with her snuggled close to me and the world laid out before us, full of possibility and light.

Instead, I’m on this roller coaster. And it keeps picking up speed.