LJ History meme…

Live Journal Ancestry: Who made you get a LiveJournal? Post that person’s LJ, and if this meme spreads, see, you’ll eventually be able to click click click and see who your LJ grandfather, great grandmother, great great grandthing, etc, etc, is all the way back to the pioneer days.

The first person I saw with an LJ was telynor, and at the time I was looking for a place that I might use as a general soapbox/sounding board. My first few entries were as often bloggish as they were personal, and I’ve neglected it as often as not over the years, but it’s a daily part of my life now and I would hate to lose it.

My very first post (after the “well, I started a livejournal, dunno what I’ll do with it” post, which doesn’t really count, read:

I hate talking about myself.

I have very little trouble talking about just about anything under the sun that I’m interested in, at length. I can spend hours talking about music, or politics, or baseball, or comic books, or literature, or any one of a myriad of topics with passion and fervor. But when someone says “Tell me about yourself” I instantly lapse into deer-in-headlights mode. Perhaps, on reflection, I’m not very interested in myself.

So, who am i?

I am a 31 year old UNIX Systems Administrator who works for a communications company in Atlanta. I am single, with a long-term live-in girlfriend, four cats, and more books than shelf space. I am a musician and songwriter. I am a writer of fiction and non-fiction, with one collaborative novel (written with my best friend since jr. high and hopefully to be sold to someone). I am a liberal who voted for Dukakis, Clinton (twice) and Al Gore for president. I am a baseball fan who loves the Red Sox and the Braves. I am a voracious reader, who prefers SF and Fantasy, history, and literature.

I read the paragraph above, and I somehow feel like I haven’t really told you anything. I find it interesting that I, a person who has been expressing himself with the written word since the time I could hold a pencil, can’t come up with more than a disjointed list to answer the simple question “Who am I?”

We interact every day with other people, yet we only every touch the surface. The essence of a person can be found deep inside, and is only hinted at by the facets that flash in the light. “Who am I?” is more than a question of hobbies and jobs, it is the center of every person’s personal quest for identity and belonging.

It isn’t that I am not interested in myself — it’s that I simply don’t have an answer for you that seems both true and complete for me. And until I can find a satisfactory way to answer that question for myself, all I can offer you is a glimpse at the surface.

It’s really astounding to look at that and realize how much the person who wrote that is not the person who is writing here today — even though most of what I said about myself in that entry is still true today. This journal has been a part of my transformation, a constant companion on my spiritual journey. Even though there are holes where there should be posts, it was always here, waiting for me to break through the chrysalis and emerge into the light. I’m glad it’s here, and I’m glad for each of you that I met along the way.

Don’t know where the next three years will take me, but I’m sure I’ll write about it here as I go. Thanks for coming along with me.