IM Improv

When hejira2006 and I were teenagers, we used to frequently amuse ourselves doing improv in our living rooms. In fact, somewhere, floating around the universe, are several audio cassettes of our improv radio shows. It’s a habit we’ve never actually gotten out of, and quite often one or the other of us will start an IM conversation with a cryptic remark. Sometimes we pick it up and run with it, and sometimes we don’t.

Today, we picked it up and ran with it. Here’s a little glimpse into the mind that is Jeff and Me:

Jeff: The streetcar is going up the hill
Rob: The dog barks at midnight
Rob: (This is news? The dog barks at everything. Stupid dog)
Jeff: But the dog barks in Morse code
Jeff: You’re supposed to have been recording the messages!
Rob: Oh. Sorry about that. Tea?
Jeff: Tea? Tea?!? TEA?!?!?!?

You’re talking about tea when weeks worth of PowerBall numbers have been lost for good?!?!?!?
Jeff: Oh well, at least we have the gerbil squeaks. I mean, thanks to you, we no longer have the dog as a confidence check, but, still, all is not lost.
Rob: Yes, well, no need to get worked up, old chap. Everything looks better after a good cuppa tea.
Jeff: So, what news from our friend the gerbil?
Rob: The cat seems to have eaten him sometime after Boxing Day. The children were devastated, but, cycle of life and all that, you know. Cream and sugar?
Jeff: Okay…I passed out. Now, where’s the fucking cat? What has the cat said since ingesting out friend the gerbil?
Rob: Er. Meow.
Rob: She seems quite definate about it. probably says it 20 or 30 times an hour. Biscuit?
Jeff: >:(
Jeff: Do you know…I mean, do you KNOW what the PowerBall is up to? Hmmmmm?
Rob: Attempting to overthrow our very way of life and enslave us all under their totalitarian regime, I imagine. Same as always. Try the scones, they’re quite good today.
Jeff: What we have here is…failure…to communicate.

You’re thinking of Paeur Bahl, the dictator of Snakitoba
Rob: Oh, quite. Nasty chap. He’s sorted then?
Jeff: WE WERE GOING TO OVERTHROW HIM WITH THE MONEY FROM THE POWERBALL!!!!!
Rob: Oh. Do you really think that will work then? Seems a bit dodgy, as plans go. Still, as long as the kettle works, can’t be too bad.
Jeff: How did you get your license to operate with Sneaky Services (TM)(R)?????
Rob: My boy, I’ve been with Sneaky Services(TM)(R) since before your father was a hopeful gleam in your grandmother’s eye. Do try to calm down.
Jeff: But…you haven’t been decoding the dog’s bark, you let the cat eat the prognosticating gerbil, and you haven’t paying attention to a single word the cat said since. You forgot about the PowerBalll to overthrow Paeur Bahl, and your blathering about tea? Tea?!?!?!?
Rob: Yes, well, when things look especially dire, a good cup of tea is just the thing to get perspective, don’t you agree?
Rob: (Clive Anderson should buzz us out any moment now…)

(Yes, we really are like this pretty much all the time.)