Banhammer
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel

You could make a cat GIF
putting down somebody’s race
You could post the president smiling
Hitler mustache on his face

All you do is post it
We’ll remove it from the feed

You could be a big dick, yeah
Ranting up and down, all around the pool
You could be a bumbling jerk, bumbling
But that violates the rule!

I’m gonna swing…my banhammer
I will erase your fame
Oh, let me swing the banhammer
This will be my admin posting

If you want to spam us
Then we will send you on your way
Don’t you try to spam us
Cause you know that just doesn’t play

I’m gonna swing…my banhammer
I will erase your fame
Oh, let me swing the banhammer
This will be my admin posting
I’m your banhammer
Let there be no doubt about it

Ban…..ban….banhammer

I kicked the asshole (I kicked the asshole)
Banned his nick (Banned his nick)
This is the Tadpool (This is the Tadpool)
So don’t be a dick (So please don’t be a dick)
If your posts are nice (posts are nice)
We will like it twice (like it twice)
Post it nice, (post it nice) I will comment twice

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I sure like you
Only you
Gonna post the good stuff
Post, post all the good stuff yeah
I’ve been finding the funny
I’ve been finding the funny
Going read that good stuff, post for you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
I’ve been finding the funny
I’ve been finding the funny
It’s what we’re doing, doing
All day and night

I wrote this a while ago, but never got around to posting it in the songbook.  The Tadpool is a social group that I co-moderate the Facebook group for; the first rule of the Tadpool is “Don’t be a dick” (also known as “Wheaton’s Law” — see the PDX Broadsides’ brilliant song of that same name for more on this.)