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Tag: amusement

I’m a winner, I’m a sinner, do you want my autograph?

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On April 19, 2012

In Blog

This morning, on my way to work, I stopped by Subway to pick up something to eat.  Deciding that I was feeling more breakfasty than lunchy, I asked for a ham, egg, and cheese on flatbread.

The guy behind the counter looked perplexed.  "We don’t serve that after 11am, sorry."

"Aww, that’s too bad," I said, genuinely disappointed but willing to go along with this news for the sake of getting food and leaving.  Subway isn’t a deli, it’s a fast food joint, and I have no illusions about that.

"You could still get a bacon, egg and cheese," he added helpfully.

"So…..that’s still available after 11, but the ham isn’t?"

"Right.  Would you like that instead?"

"Suuuuure."  Clerk goes about assembling my sandwich, and asking what sort of cheese I want (pepperjack, of course).  Then, as he carefully layers the small triangles of dairy spice on my sandwich, I added "…and I’d like you to, for an extra charge, add ham to that." and pointed at the ham.

"You want ham as well?" he confirmed, with a mixture of wariness and appreciation, as if I was enticing him to do something terribly naughty and he was realising that he was going to enjoy it.

I walked out with a nicely toasted bacon, egg, and cheese AND HAM sandwich on flatbread.  More importantly, I have once again subverted the system and shaped reality to my will.

"We have done the impossible, and that has made us mighty."
–Captain Malcolm Reynolds

’30 Rock’ biggest ethics violator on TV – The Marquee Blog – CNN.com Blogs

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On December 30, 2010

In Blog

Get the feeling someone at Global Compliance figured out a way to get their employer to pay for them to watch TV all day?

Seriously, I went into the wrong line of work…

’30 Rock’ biggest ethics violator on TV – The Marquee Blog – CNN.com Blogs

If you think your co-workers are a handful, take a good look at the characters on your favorite shows. A recent study conducted by Global Compliance found that most people on TV are hardly politically correct, constantly violating ethics in the workplace.

The biggest offender? “30 Rock,” which averages 11 violations per episode. On one show, Jack (Alec Baldwin) comments that a “chick lawyer” who handles sexual harassment presentations is “asking for it.” According to Global Compliance, which is devoted to helping organizations achieve the highest degree of ethical behavior, Jack’s remark violates Diversity, Equal Opportunity, and Respect in the Workplace.

Fun on IRC

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On June 10, 2010

In Blog

Random conversation from an IRC channel I frequent:

El: I want…
El: GTea.
El: Err, no g.
El: Just tea.
autographedcat: G’Tea was a great Narn. He was the one who came up with the idea of infusing dried leaves in hot water, and hence the beverage is named for him.
El: Hahaha.
El: But it was the great, powerful Centauri, Oolonghi, who truly made G’tea’s drink special. Before that? Mud water!

I love my friends.

The Liberal Conservative Party?

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On May 11, 2010

In Blog

The UK election may be coming to a close, as rumours circulate about a coalition between the Conservative and Liberal Democrat parties. My sources report Tories get the Prime Minister, Defence Minister, and Home Secretary, while LibDems get The Department of Muggle/Wizard Relations and the Ministry of Silly Walks.

In honour of today’s weather…

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On May 3, 2010

In Blog

Today has been awful and rainy and altogether too wet. In that spirit, I present to you a classic children’s tale, updated for modern times…

The Eensy-Weensy Spider
by Rob Wynne (autographedcat) and Dina Hess (onmeadmountain)

The eensy-weensy spider went up the waterspout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain….
No, wait. The sun, seeing how hopeless the task was, just went right back in again.
Meanwhile, the eensy-weensy spider, suddenly in possession of a great deal of marshland, parceled it all up and sold it, making a fortune on securitized credit swap derivatives before the bottom of the market fell out, and retired to Aruba where he would no longer have to put up with this nonsense.

The End

Game Review: Chess

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On February 11, 2010

In Blog

I’ve seen an number of variations on this theme, but this is one of the better ones. What if Chess was a brand new game: how would it be received by the gamer press?

Chess casts you as king of a small country at war with a rival country of equivalent military power. There is little background story to speak of, and by and large the units in the game are utterly lacking any character whatsoever. The faceless, nondescript units are dubbed arbitrarily such labels as “Knight” and “Bishop while their appearance reveals nothing to suggest these roles. To make matters worse, the units on both playable sides are entirely identical aside from a simple color palette swap. The setting of the conflict is equally uninspiring and consists merely of a two-color grid so as to represent the two warring factions. Adding insult to injury, there is only one available map- and it’s pathetically small, an 8×8 matrix (Red Alert maps are up to 128×128 in size). The lack of more expansive battlefields makes Chess feel like little more than an over-glorified Minesweeper.

The entire article is well worth reading. Great pastiche!

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