Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Tag: amusements Page 13 of 17

I feel myself becoming a god…

mishalak did this up for me back in October, and I was so bummed about the Yankees/ Red Sox series that I forgot to post it. But I suppose Deification has no expiration date, so better late than never. Thanks mishalak

Rob the Wayfinder
God (or Patron Saint when he’s avoiding torches among hot blooded Evangelicals) of Black Cats, Sneaky Fans, Clever Commuters, and Back Roads. In his own words (sort of):
Powers: I’m the god to go to when you need help finding your way around traffic jams, construction, and those difficult to navigate side streets. Also I’m terribly helpful in being able to get in and out of places silently, almost like a cat one would say.
Weakness(es): It’s not that I’m especially vulnerable to fire, I just I guess I am for a god. So no waving torches at me! On the other hand if you’re serving Iced Tea I’ll sit down for a while and if it’s made with Darjeeling tea, well that’s just decadent.
Sacred Animal: Cats of course, as if you had to ask. Black ones. Though they also count as people you know.
Feast Day: The 4th Friday of June
Weapon: Glock Nine Millimeter with Silencer, natch. Though these things only get used when something gone terribly wrong.

Amusing random thought of the day.

“Actually, an old, fat Elvis porn flick could be amusing. They could play bad jazzy instrumental versions of his songs during the sex scenes, and after the money shot, he could pat the girl on the ass and say ‘uh, thank yew. thank yew verra much.'”

from rec.humor.funny

Up in Heaven, Alexander the Great, Frederick the Great and Napoleon are looking down on events in Iraq. Alexander says, “Wow, if I had just one of Bush’s armored divisions, I would definitely have conquered India.”

Frederick the Great states, “Surely if I only had a few squadrons of Bush’s air force I would have won the Seven Years War decisively in a matter of weeks.”

There is a long pause as three continue to watch events. Then Napoleon speaks, “And if I only had that Fox News, no one would have ever known that I lost the Russia campaign.”

[Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet (www.hoolinet.com)
Copyright 2003 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.]

Short Takes

themouseshouse points to a job opening for a network administrator posted by spammers in Costa Rica.

We went to the monthly Alpharetta Library sale, which (in order to celebrate the 14th anniversary of the library sale, presumably) had an Elvis impersonator singing on the front lawn.

Why is it that you never see anyone impersonating the young Elvis. Why is it always the old fat Elvis?

Want to see how the other half lives. Try out the Online Orgasmic Simulator

Couple of interesting spams this week.

The first was advertising “Christian Debt Management”, promising debt relief with a “Christian perspective”. I had a picture of an earnest young man in a shirt and tie sitting behind a cluttered desk, imploring a worried couple to “Render unto Visa that which is Visa’s….”

The other one that caught my eye boldly promised to help me achieve “The best sex I probably ever had.” Now, I’m not a marketing genius, but….probably. Way to hedge your bets there, guys.

Most interesting news story of the week came courtesy of NPR’s All Things Considered on October 1, when they interviewed Andre Tolme, a man who is golfing across Mongolia. (Requires RealAudio to hear the actual story.) I also found Andre Tolme’s webpage.

ROFL

While surfing around looking for something else, I came across this:

The Princess Menace

Go. Enjoy. 🙂

Which came first…

Seen in rec.music.filk, the Annals of Improbable Research investigates The Famous Chicken & Egg Conundrum.

My mind does strange things…

So someone in a newsgroup I was reading was talking about watching the talking heads on CNN during the coverage of the blackouts, and how the Governor of New Mexico kept insisting “There oughta be a law! There oughta be a law!” and, well…..

Woof! You sure gotta climb a lot of steps to get to this office building here in New York City. But I wonder who that sad little power station is?

I’m just a grid, yes I’m only a grid
When I’m overloaded I blow my lid
Last night I failed and the whole east coast was plunged into darkness
And I couldn’t make light cause I was all out of sparkness
But I know I got repaired today
At least I hope and pray that I did
But today I am still just a grid

*GD&R*

Amusing conversation

Just now, talking to my co-worker eloren:

Me: Great. Now the CD-ROM drive isn’t working.

(ACat begins removing the case of the server he’d just put the case back onto.

Me: So, what cardinal rule did I just break, regarding working on a server that you have had to remove the case?

eloren: Don’t ever put the case back on until you’re sure it’s in working order?

Me: Right. See, I like to lead by example. This is an example of something not to do. 🙂


For anyone who is wondering, I am still planning on answering the last set of questions, and also write up the last two weekends. I could say I’ve been busy at work, but eloren knows better than that, so I’ll just admit I’ve been lazy and procrastinating. (That goes for those of you I owe e-mail to as well. Bad me.)

Slang Generation

autographedcat
n. 1. an old pair of trousers. 2. a sexy unit of currency.
“Man, check out this autographedcat!”

according to The Infinite Teen Slang Dictionary

Thanks to filkerdave for the link! I think I’m more like definition 2 rather than 1, myself, what do you think? *grin*

Oh. My. God.

Speaking of things to if you just have WAY too much time on your hands:

Lord Of The Peeps

Page 13 of 17

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén