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Terence Chua Could Filk It

Terence Chua Could Filk It
by Robert Wynne and Brenda Sutton
Music: “Christine Lavin Could Do It” by Cheryl Wheeler
© 2001

“It started with an idea but it got so out of hand
Now they scream for songs of Hastur to the tunes of Swedish Bands
I tell them that i’m over that, but they don’t really seem to see
That I’m sick of doing HPL, there has to be much more to me!”

They all scream “Terence Chua can filk it!
They all shout “Terence Chua’s the man!”
Well he crosses the Pacific just to sing his little song
It’s to the tune of “Waterloo” about the thousand young
Oh, Terence Chua could filk it!

I said “Hey listen up, that stuff is just a small part of the whole
I’d rather do some R&B, a little Fanboy Soul
I’ve moved on to other things now, Cthulhu’s not my only game!”
They all said “Sorry buster, but you know you’ve only got yourself to blame!”

And they scream “Terence Chua can filk it!
They all shout “Terrence Chua’s the man!”
Well he crosses the Pacific just to sing his little song
It’s to the tune of “Waterloo” about the thousand young
Oh, Terence Chua could filk it!

I grabbed my ukelele and ran screaming down the hall.
They trapped me in the filkroom and they pinned me to the wall
Shouting, “Sing Nyarlathotep or we’ll force feed you on bad bok choy.
You are the Bard of ol’ Cthulhu and we’re just your little Fan Boy Toys!”

And they scream “Terence Chua can filk it!
They all shout “Terrence Chua’s the man!”
Well he crosses the Pacific just to sing his little song
It’s to the tune of “Waterloo” about the thousand young
Oh, Terence Chua could filk it!

Terence Chua was the Interfilk guest to the Ohio Valley Filk Festival in 2001, the same year as my good friends Three Weird Sisters were the Guests of Honor. Some time before the con, Terence made the comment to me that he was tired of people only knowing him for his Lovecraft/ABBA parodies, and thinking that was all he did.

So we hatched a plot. I came up with an idea for a song about Terence, and Brenda and I wrote it. At the end of their Guest of Honor concert, the Sisters called Terence up on the stage, sat him in a chair, facing the audience, and proceeded to perform the song while Erica Neely, Jodi Krangle, and Debbie Ridpath Ohi all played fawning fangirls around him. Daniel Glasser got photographs. (Use the arrow keys to scroll through the photos, and the Home button to return to this page.)

This song inspired David Rood’s I Wanna Be Filked By the Three Weird Sisters, and was published in the ConCertino 2003 sonbook.

Sauron

Sauron
by Robert Wynne
(Thanks to Dave Weingart for the second half of verse 1)
Music: “Do Ron Ron” by the Crystals
© 2001

He rose up out of Mordor and the sky turned black,
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron
He sent his Orcish raiders for the Ring to track
A Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Yeah….his shadow hand
Stretched…..out across the land
Best….to avoid his eye
A Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Gandalf said the One Ring was his key to power
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron
If he could regain it he would rule the hour
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Out….of Rivendell
To….the brink of Hell
We’re….off to destroy the Ring
of Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Sam and Frodo journeyed to the Cracks of Doom
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron
Threw it in the fire not a bit too soon
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Yeah…..the rings unmade
So…..the world was saved
And…never more we’ll fear
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron
A bit of silliness that came out of a long afternoon on #filkhaven. I tossed out the first half of the first verse, and Dave Weingart tossed out the second half, and I thought “Hey, that’s not a bad idea” and quickly finished it. This one is an infectious sing-along, and always helps bring the mood of a circle up.

This song was published in Xenofilkia #78 and the Gafilk 2003 songbook.

Novel Man

Novel Man
by Robert Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
Music: “Nowhere Man” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
© 2001

He’s a real novel man
living off his long-time fans
writing long complex stories
that don’t end

Plots that are long and absurd
Two hundred ninety thousand words
Can it be he’s never heard of
Brevity

Novel man, please hasten
Up that scene, time’s wastin’
Novel man
The advance has long since been spent

Got multiple points of view
Subplots and pointless verse too
Does he think we’ve nothing else
to read

Long winded as he can be
Series come in groups of three
I wonder if we’ll ever see
the end of it

Novel man, please end it
It’s much harder to defend it
Novel man, It once was so promising
Now it’s a joke

He’s a real novel man
Doesn’t have a master plan
And his series rolls on to
Infinity

He may write this series for infinity!
This song isn’t about one particular writer, but could easily be applied to any number of authors currently mining the low grade ore out of the science fiction and fantasy mine. There’s some really good deposits down deep and off the main shaft, but some folks manage to get rich selling the same stuff off the top over and over again.

Oh well, they keep printing them. I guess SOMEBODY’S gotta read them.

This song was published in the Gafilk 2006 songbook.

Keep You Closer

Keep You Closer
Words and Music by Robert Wynne
© 2001

For all my chosen family throughout the filk community,
and especially for LM, who is ever in my heart.

We come from different corners of the world
And the times that our paths will cross are few
A few short weekends through the year
And then it’s time to go
And parting ways is always hard to do

But give me just a minute to embrace you
To hold you close before you turn away
A moment to remind you
That we’re closer than the miles
To keep until we meet another day

If I could hold the world inside these arms
If I could build a bridge across the sea
If I could shrink the miles that lie between us
I’d keep you closer every day to me

If the world were only a bit smaller
Then parting wouldn’t be a time for tears
But the shuttle waits to take you home
And on a plane you’ll soon be gone
And we may not meet again until next year

(chorus)

Slowly now we pull apart and smile and say goodbye
I pack my bags into my car and go
And though there is a sadness
that must come with each farewell
I love you, and that’s all you need to know

(chorus x2)

Of all the songs I’ve written, this one is probably the one that means the most to me, personally. And yes, while it is about a lot of people on one level, when I wrote it I had a certain few individuals on my mind. I’m very happy to say that, a year later, I did manage to shrink the miles between myself and one of those individuals, and the two of us are very happy being closer every day.

This song was published with sheet music in the Gafilk 2002 songbook.

Hope and Mercy

Hope and Mercy
Words and Music by Robert Wynne
© 2001

September 11, 2001

The world around me has gone mad
I cannot find the words
To make sense out of anything at all

I feel so helpless and confused
So powerless and small
If anyone is there to hear my call

Hope and mercy
For this alone we pray
Send us strength from somewhere
To make it through this day

Faith and courage
To help us through the night
And draw us all together
To set the world to right

I know I cannot save the world
Not by myself alone
I’m not even sure how to survive

Please tell me there is still a chance
A reason to go on
There must be hope as long as we’re alive

CHORUS

So at last we come together
To comfort and to grieve
And lean upon each other in our fears

But dawn will bring a new day
And together we will strive
To build a new tomorrow without tears

CHORUS

While I did write this song on September 11, it’s not really about the terrible events of that day. One of the first reactions I saw to the events on rec.music.filk was someone who said, “I shall write songs of vengence tonight.”

This struck me as…the wrong approach somehow, and I got to thinking about how communities, such as ours, come together to face adversity. No matter what tries to divide us, we know we can build a better tomorrow together, because we will always have each other. This is a song about coming together and dealing with adversity as a community.

This song was published with sheet music in “September 11, 2001 – A Memorial Songbook.”

Dead Tired

Dead Tired
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Weird Science” by Oingo Boingo
© 2001

(Dead Tired)
Jet lag and too little sleep
Going to a con
God it’s half past one
I’m feeling

(Dead Tired)
Folks I’ve never met before
Behind ballroom doors
Talent and imagination

(Dead Tired)
Here’s what I came here to do
Makin’ dreams come true
Living music, warm friends

(Dead tired)
Jet lag and too little sleep
God it’s half past one
God it’s half past one

CHORUS
(God it’s)a convention — is it real?
It’s a convention — I do not know
Bring caffienation — No time to sleep
With friends and music — I will not weep

Far from bed and far from home
This is why to here i roamed
Filk convention ….ooooh, dead….
dead tired!

(Dead tired)
Music and high fantasy
Science fiction chants
Puns and geekery
I’m feelin’

(Dead Tired)
Consuite breakfast and corn chips
Glad I made the trip
It’s been magic
I’m feeling

(Dead Tired)
Pictures for my conreport
New songs and chord charts
Sorry now to part (and feelin’)

(Dead Tired)
Staying for the dead dog filk
God it’s half past
God it’s half past

(Chorus)

This is, of all things, a filk written about a con report, specifically Dave Weingart’s conreport of his trip to Consonance in 2001 . I’d love to hear it performed by a full band one day…

This song was published in the Gafilk 2005 songbook.

Consumed By Wonder

Consumed By Wonder
Lyrics and Music by Robert Wynne
© 2001

Hundred Acre Wood
is dark
is dark
is closing in
Shadows linger shadows leap
from behind from within
swirling spectres soundless formless
timeless ageless seamless screaming
shifting sliding swirling swooping
down upon me in the closing of the dark
of the dark
of the dark
of the Hundred Acre Wood

Alice’s Wonderland
is dark
is dark
is closing in
Shadows shuffle shadows flee
from below from without
stalking phantoms mindful prideful
vengeful willful skillful streaming
swerving skulking stalking swooping
up behind me in the closing of the dark
of the dark
of the dark
of Alice’s Wonderland

The Emerald City
is dark
is dark
is closing in
Shadows startle shadows fly
from above from withstanding
creeping spirits spaceless graceless
endless trendless friendless weeping
seeping sleeping creeping swooping
from within me in the closing of the dark
of the dark
of the dark
of the Emerald City
This song was written during a particularly difficult time in my life, and is an attempt to evoke the emotions I was working through at the time as I travelled over some especially dark internal landscapes.

The Work Of The Drummers

The Work of the Drummers
by Bill Sutton and Robert Wynne
Music: “The Work of the Weavers” (aka “Drink to the Health of the Dorsai”)
© 2000

We are gathered here to sing some songs tonight
With our songbooks on our back and our axes in plain sight
There’s not a man among us who couldn’t get it right
If it weren’t for the work of the drummers

If it weren’t for the drummers, what would you do?
You wouldn’t have nobody to feel superior to
You wouldn’t have nobody to beat you black and blue
If it weren’t for the work of the drummers
Bill and I wrote this to annoy his wife, Brenda, who is an excellent drummer and who, i might add, can play percussion behind me anytime she wants. It was all in good fun Brenda…..honest…. please put the tipper down…..ow!

Ramblin’ Fan

Ramblin’ Fan
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Ramblin Man” by the Allman Brothers
© 2000

Lord I was born a rambling fan
going to conventions and doing the best I can
So when its time for the dead dog I hope you’ll understand
That I was born a rambling fan

My father was a filker from New Hampshire
My mother published zines in New Jersy
And I was born in the back row of a panel talk
in Massachussetts back at Boskone 3

(chorus)

Left a con in New Orleans this morning
Next weekend is Nashville, Tennessee
Every weekend there’s another convention to attend
And Worldcon’s where I hope they’ll bury me

(chorus x2)

I wrote this in the car on the way back from dinner at Gafilk 2000. As a note to the literal minded, I don’t have family in New Hampshire or New Jersey, and I was 31 years old the first time I even visited Massachussetts. So this song isn’t remotely autobiographical. For the record.

This song was published in the Gafilk 2001 songbook.

Play It…AGAIN?

Play It…AGAIN?
by Robert Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
Music: “Circle Sky” by Michael Nesmith
© 2000

My old hits
Bored to bits
Requesting
Same old thing

Oh, do I have to play that once again?
Dear God, do I have to play that once again?

Played this song
For so long
Rather do
Something new

But now I have to play this once again!
Yes, now I have to play this once again!

It’s a very tedious thing
But no one out there understands
But I sing what I must just to please
All my fans….all my fans

Trapped by my
Success I
Grin and play
Every day

And now I’ve gotten through it once again
Thank goodness I have gotten to the end.
This song was written on the way back from seeing Mickey Dolenz in concert, and I was asking myself “What on earth must it be like to have to play the same songs, over and over again, for thirty years?” In a way, I can guess. There are times I look at all my collected songs and think “I hate everything in this book and I don’t want to play any of it.”

Page 12 of 16

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