Tag: lyrics Page 14 of 16

Rainy Day Argo #12 & #35

On January 1, 1999

Rainy Day Argo #12 & #35
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Rainy Day Woman #12 & #35” by Bob Dylan
© 1999

Oh, they’ll ban you when you beam down to that port
They’ll ban you when you are the spacer sort
They’ll ban you when you try to cruise the bars
They’ll ban you ‘fore you ever get that far
But I would not feel so in demand
EVERYBODY must get banned!

Oh they’ll ban you if your captain tries to mate
With too many partners in a pantless state
They’ll ban you if your engineer is able
To drink everyone else under the table
But I would not feel so in demand
EVERYBODY must get banned!

Oh they’ll ban you if your First Officer there
Teaches your bridge computer how to swear
They’ll ban you if your head nurse search is gainful
and comes home naked with a walk that’s painful
But I would not feel so in demand
EVERYBODY must get banned!

Oh they’ll ban you if your Chief Communicator
Crafts a virtual clothing elimanator
Theyll ban you if your gentle country healer
Incites a riot by the town’s local flesh dealers
But I would not feel so in demand
EVERYBODY must get banned!

Oh they’ll ban you if the man who drives your helm
Uses plants the gov’ner’s wife to overwhelm
They’ll ban you if the pirates at the bar
Run away when they find out that’s where you are
But I would not feel so in demand
EVERYBODY must get banned!

Oh they’ll ban you if your crew is Starfleet’s best
They’ll treat you like you’re some unwelcome guest
We didn’t mean to cause all of this fuss
But it seem’s thats always how it goes with us
We’re so sorry that it all got out of hand
But EVERYBODY must get banned!

Another filk by free-association. Someone on rec.music.filk made a comment to the effect that EVERYONE should send a newbie a copy of Banned from Argo, and for some reason it triggered the phrase “Everbody Must Get Banned”. I tossed out the first verse as an Insta-filk response to the original poster, then decided I should finish it before someone else did.

This song was published in Xenofilkia #83 (“The Bastard Grandchildren of Argo” issue)

Pale Horse

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

Pale Horse
Words and Music by Robert Wynne
Based on the short story Once Upon A Time by Jeff Williams
© 1999

On a pale horse in the desert is the rider
Asking questions but not listening to the answers
Met Coyote by an outcrop in the desert
Walks beside him off’ring answers obtuse riddles

I’ll give you my food and my water I’ll share
As we ride through this place where the answers hide from my eyes

Can a bridge made of mere words span the vast aeons
Gleeming steel beams yet so fragile crumbling dust cloud
You thought nothing could secure her for your own love
She flies home now she’s her own guide, her own compass

Coyote’s enraged at my fear of the void
Tears at my soul and won’t let me hide from myself

On the hard floor of the desert lies the rider
Badly beaten bloody wounded empty inside
The Coyote says he’ll be back to the desert
And the rider feels the great wheel once more turning

I’ll lie here alone till my emptiness heals
Then leave from this place as the cycle starts once again
Jeff Williams wrote a rather cryptic short story called “Once Upon A Time” that plays all sorts of fun with archtypes. I wrote this song as a reaction to it, and also a way of asking Jeff “Well, did I get it?” He said it was pretty close to his meaning.

Go read the story. I’ll wait. Enjoy.

Open Source Of Frustration

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

Open Source of Frustration
by Robert Wynne and Amanda Marlowe
Music by Robert Wynne
© 1999

I untarred it just an hour ago
Then I made a tiny fix
The error list’s a hundred lines
It must do this for kicks
And the compiler’s complaining that it don’t know what to do
I got the I can’t compile without an error blues

Don’t know what’s it’s asking
It’s really got me pissed
Cause the libs its says are missing
Came right in the dist!
And the docs are in Norweigan…I haven’t got a clue
I got the I can’t compile without an error blues

I started on this project
I thought it would be fun
I finally got the source compiled
And the damn thing wouldn’t run!
Why does anyone write software that no one else can use?
I got the I can’t compile without an error blues

I tried a different angle
Forget what’s on the shelf
But this one don’t run either
And I wrote the thing myself!
And it can’t be Y2K, cause it’s now 1902
I got the I can’t compile
(I can’t even save the file)
without an error blues

Amanda and I wrote this in #filkhaven back when it was still on TalkCity. I was chatting with her at the same time as trying to compile some software which wasn’t cooperating, and I was venting my frustration to her since she was there to talk to. Writing the song was very theraputic, and eventually, I DID get the errors in the code fixed.

Nobody’s Ranger Now

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

Nobody’s Ranger Now
by Bill Sutton and Robert Wynne
Music: “Nobody’s Moggie” by Eric Bogle
© 1999

Somebody’s ranger just inside of the door
Someone’s player character who won’t roll nice no more
Someon’s favourite fighter who ran clean out of luck
When he ran up, threw wide the door, and shouted out “Oh……BUGGER”

Yesterday, he roared and rolled his purple pair of dice
Decapitating nothing much, and fumbling badly twice
Now he’s just a page of useless stats and tasty food for mice
He’s nobody’s ranger, now.

So if you love your ranger, don’t let him run ahead
For if he opens doors alone, he’ll likely wind up dead
And everything he’s ever owned will go for monster’s pleasure
How else do you think those monsters get all of their treasure?

Always stick together when exploring caverns vast
That’s the way to guarantee your characters will last
But wandering alone you’ll die, and very very fast
He’s nobody’s ranger…
So ends his life of danger…
He’s nobody’s ranger….now.
Another song inspired by the Thursday Night Gaming Group. This one really did happen, and the song should serve as a cautionary tale against splitting up the party.

This song is for you, Joey. We miss you.

This song was published in the Gafilk 2004 songbook.

Littleton Aftermath

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

Littleton Aftermath
Words and Music by Robert Wynne
© 1999

April 22, 1999

It’s a thing that shouldn’t happen, but too often now it will
And it breaks the heart each time you hear of someone’s children killed
Last night I turned on the evening news, and felt my blood go cold
And cried as I watched the story there unfold

The scene was Colorado, in a nice suburban school
Things like this don’t happen there! It goes against the rule
It’s not the inner city, but it happened just the same
And the reporters were all wondering who to blame

And you can say we need more gun control, or armed guards at the schools
Or that we could reach these kids with more counselers and their tools
But somehow I doubt it matters much just who the blame falls on
To a parent whose child won’t be coming home

There were sixteen or maybe more whose lives were just erased
The contributions they might have made can never be replaced
They won’t have the chance to fall in love or spread their wings and fly
And all that we can do is wonder why

What could have we done different? With whom can we find fault?
What can we do to bring this vicious cycle to a halt?
Each expert on the evening news has an viewpoint of his own
And each forgets the families left alone

And you can say we should get rid of all the violence on TV
Or that we need more laws to regulate society
But somehow I doubt it matters much just who the blame falls on
To a parent whose child won’t be coming home

I wrote this the morning after the Littleton, CO, school shootings, in an attempt to make some sort of sense of it all. It’s primarily a reaction to the talking heads and pundits who were all saying ‘Well, of course, this happened because…’ and proceding to try and tie this tragedy to whatever their pet theory about “What’s Wrong With The World Today, Especially These Kids” happened to be. The thing the media always loses track of is that these are, at heart, not national tragedies — they’re human tragedies…whatever the societal implications, there are families who are missing their loved ones tonight.

This song never did help me find any answers. It raised a lot of questions though.

I never perform this song.

Jeff’s Wedding

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

Jeff’s Wedding
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Get Me To The Church On Time” from the musical My Fair Lady
© 1999

I’m getting married in the morning
To hell with writing stories down
Ive got no time
for prose, verse, or rhyme
I’ve got to catch my plane on time

I’m getting married out in Houston
Strange, but it wasn’t my idea
Don’t try to stop me
She’ll always top me
Just get me to my plane on time

If I am typing, turn off the power
If I am sleeping, remind me of the hour

Cause I’m getting married, no escaping
No turning back now, thats for sure
No time to re-think
Pour me a stiff drink
And get me to my plane
(Don’t mind if I complain)
Just get….me…to…my….plane
….
on
…
time
Jeff Williams is my writing partner, my best friend since Jr. High School, and the brother I never had. I was unfortunately unable to attend his wedding, but the night before he left for Texas, I did write this song for him. My biggest regret was being unable to perform it at his reception.

Georgia’s First Ever Filking Con

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

Georgia’s First Ever Filking Con
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Bad Bad Leroy Brown” by Jim Croce
© 1999

On the south side of Atlanta
Came a different sort of fun
You know we’d never seen
Something quite so keen
As a real live filking con[1]

There was no masquarade or art show
Michael[2] sold tapes from his room
All day we gathered round
And made a joyous sound
In the Ramada’s main ballroom

It’s Georgia’s First Ever Filking Con
Three southern nights of joy and song
And no one ever had so much fun
As the con called GaFilk One

Juanita Coulson[3] was delightful
But then, when’s that a surprise?
How does she not go hor-us
Growling out each chorus
With that twinkle in her eye?

Mike and Anne came[4] ‘cross the water
With British filk they did entice
The Great White North was on board
With a Canadian Horde[5]
And boy did they sound nice!

At Georgia’s First Ever Filking Con
Three southern nights of joy and song
And no one ever had so much fun
As the con called GaFilk One

Well the weekend went too swiftly
Much too soon we reached the end
When Brenda[6] took the floor
To sing “Strangers No More”
Every single one joined in!

Bill[7] declared the con was over
But we all let out a cheer
When he took up the call
And told one and all
“We’ll be right back here next year

At Georgia’s Second Ever Filking Con
Three more nights of Joy and Song
So no matter what else you do
Make sure that you’re at GaFilk Two!”

[1] This was the first filk con ever held in Georgia
[2] Michael Liebmann got “the whole store” from Random Factors and was the only (and much put upon) dealer
[3] You don’t need me to introduce this lady, do you? 🙂
[4] Mike and Anne Whittaker (of the filk band Phoenix)
[5] Glenn Simser (the Interfilk guest) and Dave and Judith Hayman were down
[6] Brenda Sutton. “Strangers No More” is the official song of GaFiA, the Georgia Filking Association.
[7] Bill Sutton was the con chairman

I wrote this after arriving home after the first Georgia Filk Con, when everything was still fresh in my head. I had a great time, and five years later, Gafilk is still going strong. Being a part of the Gafilk concom has been a wonderful experience for me the last four years, and I’m looking forward to many more.

Update (August, 2018): Holy cow, we’re prepping to put on Gafilk 21 in January…

Dungeonville

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

Down in the cavern
Far from the tavern
Cold and lonely down here in the dark
Monsters all around
Making some weird sounds
Now I know this is no walk in the park

Hiding away again down here in Dungeonville
Hoping my luck doesn’t turn for the worse
Some people claim that there’s a fortune to gain
But I know, I’ve got to find it first

The monsters are scary
They’re mean and they’re hairy
I try to avoid them whenever I can
But if I am fast then
I can sneak past them
It’s all a part of my cunning plan

Hiding away again down here in Dungeonville
Hoping my luck doesn’t turn for the worst
Some people claim that there’s a fortune to gain
But I know, I’ve got to find it first

Now there are some fighters
Who like armor brighter
But I like dusty old leather just fine
While the others are fighting
I will be a-lighting
Out through the backdoor with all I can find

Running away again, right out of Dungeonville
Hoping my luck doesn’t turn for the worst
Some people claim that there’s a fortune to gain
They’d be right, ‘cept that I got there first

Another gaming song. The first D&D campaign I was in was run by a fellow with an unfortunate tendency to kill off our characters. My friend Jeff was the first of us to have a character actually survive one of Larry’s dungeons, and this song is about how he did it. (We probably would have tracked him down and expressed our displeasure at being deserted in battle, but, well, we were all dead.)

This song was published in Xenofilkia #74, and in the Gafilk 2004 songbook.

A Con Spent A Circle

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

(chorus)
A con spent in a circle
All our troubles gone
The music echoes through the night
Till the breaking of the dawn
A con spent in a circle,
Friends sharing harmony,
We’ll give no thought to sleep now —
Come on and filk with me

I met you sometime last year,
I don’t remember where,
But I know we shared a song or two,
Help me circle up these chairs.

I’m glad to see you came again,
we’ve still a lot to do —
The convention day is over,
but the evening is still new.

(chorus)

A voice lilts out a melody
A single strumming hand
A bodhran adds a rhythmic beat
It’s better than a band

When other fans have gone to sleep
We circle up and sing
And each takes home full measure
of all the joy we bring

(chorus)
I wrote this song shortly after the first GaFilk. I remember leaving the hotel on Sunday and commenting to Teri Wachowiak that I had a great time, even though it seemed I spent most of the weekend rearranging chairs into circles. The phrase “A con spent in a circle” wandered through my head, and connected with the Harry Chapin song, and I wrote the lyrics over the next few days.

I’ve been very flattered at the attention this song has gotten. It was published in Xenofilkia #64 and the Gafilk 2001 songbook, and was nominated in 2001 for a Pegasus Award for Best Filk Song.

Catacombs

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

When I think back on all the trolls I’ve fought in dungeons
It’s a wonder that I’m alive at all
But my lack of constitution hasn’t hurt me none
I can hide in shadows on the wall

Catacombs
Your tunnels are dark and twisty
Your underground lakes are misty
Makes me think all the world’s so far away
I got the monster’s treasures
I love to take it home with me
[So] mama don’t take my catacombs away.

If you took all the ghouls I slew at second level,
Put ’em all together for one fight,
You know they’d never beat my sweet Holy Avenger –
Everything looks worse to a blackened wight.

(chorus)

Mama don’t take my catacombs away
Mama don’t take my catacombs away

Mama don’t take my catacombs
mama don’t take my catacombs
mama don’t take my catacombs away

Mama don’t take my catacombs
and leave me broke so far from home
mama don’t take my catacombs away

Bill Sutton and I play AD&D every Thursday night at his house in Marietta. This is one of two songs inspired by that campaign.

This song was published in Xenofilkia #74, and in the Gafilk 2000 songbook.

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