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Undead Cat

By

On October 27, 2016

In Songs

Undead Cat
Lyrics by Rob Wynne
(TTTO: “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel)

Undead cat
It’s not living now, and that is that
But somehow it still can move around
No you’re never gonna keep it down

You’d better run from the undead cat
You won’t win if you get in a spat
And if the sight of it should give you pause
You’re gonna die by its undead claws
And drooling maw

And when you see where it is
It’s too lay-ay-ate
And when you wake up
You make up its play-ay-ate

You’ll see you now are dead
Your poor sod
You’ve been fed to the undead cat
And your flesh has made it sleek and fat
And when it’s tired of its catnip toys
It will go hunting for more girls and boys
Because they’re moist

Undead cat
In Spanish, viviendo muerto gat-
O, maybe someday when you’re on your own
Out in the woods, you hear a yowling moan
Won’t make it home

And where it’s stalking
You’ll find you’re its prey-ay-ay
There’s no use talking
Unless it’s to pray-ay-ay

You’ll see you now are dead
Your poor sod
You’d should’ve fled from the undead cat
You won’t win if you get in a spat
And if the sight of it should give you pause
You’re gonna die by its undead claws
And drooling maw

My brain and welcome to it.  (Sincere apologies to Billy Joel, and anyone with the slightest amount of taste)

Upon The Fields Of Catnip

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On January 16, 2014

In Songs

Upon The Fields Of Catnip
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Fields of Gold” by Sting

You’ll remember how I would always purr upon the fields of catnip
You’ll forget the spot where I used to sleep as we play with balls of yarn

So the time to go was a time I chose upon the fields of catnip
In her arms I slipped through the summer door to play with balls of yarn

“Won’t you stay with me? Must you leave so soon to roam the fields of catnip?
All these years you’ve gazed from your lofty perch and played with balls of yarn”

But the quiet calls and it’s time to go upon the fields of catnip.
Feel my body still as I slip away to play with balls of yarn

“I never sent you away lightly
and there have been times I regretted
But I thought you’d be there waiting to play with balls of yarn
We’ll play with balls of yarn”

Now a year has gone and I still run free upon the fields of catnip
Let a kitten romp through my favourite haunts and play with balls of yarn

You’ll remember how I would always purr upon the fields of catnip
I’ll be waiting here, ’till we meet again, and we’ll play with balls of yarn
We’ll play with balls of yarn
We’ll play with balls of yarn

It’s been a little over a year now since we lost Dayna.  Earlier today, I saw on Facebook that a friend’s beloved pet had crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and someone commented that he was “running around in fields of catnip now”, and this just poured out.  I still miss you, you weird furry little kitty.

Moss Bliss performed this song as part of a 2×10 set at Gafilk in 2018.

Music Of The Cat

By

On January 1, 2000

In Songs

Music of the Cat
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Music of the Night” from the musical Phantom of the Opera
© 2000

Meowing, slinking
Hide under the sofa
Running aimless
Under and then over
Stop to lick your fur
Then remember where you were
And give out a plaintive mew
And crouch down flat
And start to make the music of the cat

Prancing, pawing
Partake any pleasure
Balls of yarn are
Such a priceless treasure
Toss it in the air
Then pretend that you don’t care
If a human observes you
engaged in that
For they can’t hear the music of the cat

Close your eyes and surrender to an hours sleep
Twitch your ear lest they think that you don’t hear
Warm and safe on the top of the TV
Only cats can know the true meaning of free

Prowling, pouncing
Rub against a pants leg
Wishing, hoping
But far too proud to beg
Curl up in a lap
Take yourself another nap
And if they stroke your fur
You’ll purr for that
And once more make the music of the cat
I wrote this one day while observing one of my cats being playful, unaware that I was watching. The moment she DID realize, she suddenly became very dignified and intent on washing her paw. I know too many parodies of this tune have been written already, but it really seemed to fit.

This song was published in the Contata 3 songbook

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