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Tag: songs: computers and technology

The Flamewar Never Dies

By

On January 1, 1998

In Songs

The Flamewar Never Dies
by Robert Wynne
Music: “The Dangling Conversation” by Paul Simon
© 1998

If you will not heed what I say
I’ll repeat it louder still
And you think you can ignore my words
But I don’t think you will
I will shout it from the ramparts
Locked in my position
Like an overzealous twit
You can watch me pitch a fit

Full of righteous indignation
And my superficial lies
The flamewar never dies

And you all howl out with outrage
How dare I break the peace
Although every response to me
Ensures I never cease
Though you put me in your killfile
Still I will be lurking
On the edges of the net
I won’t let you forget

About my righteous indignation
And my superficial lies
The flamewar never dies

Oh, I speak things that don’t matter
Just to prolong the thread
No analysis is worthwhile
No logic’s in my head.
Yet I won’t stop my babble
I can keep this up forever
My fingers never tire
Of this neruotic, senseless ire

Or my righteous indignation
And my superficial lies
The flameware never dies

This is the second song I wrote as a result of the Cineviews flamewar on rec.music.filk back in 1998. The other was The Gold Standard.

While this was inspired by a specific flamewar, this sort of thing happens on USENET all the time. Apply as needed.

Major Outage Tech Support Blues

By

On January 1, 1996

In Songs

Major Outage Tech Support Blues
by Robert Wynne
Music: “California Dreaming” (John Phillips)
© 1996

All the servers down
My Netscape screen is grey
I can’t get logged in
For several hours today
I wouldn’t be so stressed
If I was off today
Customers are screaming
And I don’t know what to say

I called down to the NOC
It’s just 5 miles away
Got down on my knees
And I began to pray
Hey, Mr. Sysop, what’s the story?
Don’t say it’s down to stay
Customers are screaming
Please tell us what to say

(Interlude)

Got an update from the NOC
“We don’t know what to say…
Seems the password file is missing
But we’ve found a way
To get it from the tape
By the next business day…”
Customers are screaming
And there’s nothing we can say
Customers are screaming
And there’s nothing we can say
And there’s nothing we can say
And there’s nothing we can say
Yes, it’s based on a true story. I was a supervisor in the technical support department of an ISP when I wrote this song. They really did delete the RADIUS password file, and it really did take until the next day to recover. I actually wrote this on the way home from work at one in the morning. It took an hour and twenty minutes for me to drive from the office to home, and I had no writing utinsils or recording gear, so I had to sing it over and over again until I got to my computer where I could write it down.

This is one of the few pieces of songwriting I have which survived my 1998 apartment fire, mostly be virtue of having been e-mailed to other people who were also on duty for that tech support shift.

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