Tag: songs: movies and tv Page 1 of 2

The Muppets Take Manhattan

On October 27, 2018

by Rob Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
TTTO: “First, We Take Manhattan” by Leonard Cohen

KERMIT:
They sentenced me to twenty years of vaudeville
I am a world-renowned amphibian
Well, now I want my picture on a playbill
The Muppets take Manhattan…Kermit rides a Schwinn

I’m guided by a voice beyond the rainbow
That lovers, dreamers, and I all attend
I’m guided by the search for the connection
The Muppets take Manhattan…Kermit rides a Schwinn

MISS PIGGY:
I’d really like to sing beside you, Kermie
I love your humour and your deadpan and your care
But you see that name in lights up on the marquee?
I told you, I told you, Moi told you: Moi should be up there!

KERMIT:
Ah, we’re moving right along, and now we’re ready for the Great White Way
We’ll make a show with our friends, just like we did in our heyday
How many nights we’ve played for this, to let the show begin
The Muppets take Manhattan…Kermit rides a Schwinn

We’re going to get the whole band back together
Doctor Teeth, the Electric Mayhem
The Animal unto the drum is tethered
The Muppets Take Manhattan…Kermit rides a Schwinn

KERMIT:
And I thank you for the varied friends you sent me
The dog, the bear, whatever Gonzo is
We rehearsed every night, and now we’re ready
The Muppets take Manhattan, Kermit rides a Schwinn

Ah, hear me now, it’s time to play the music
To light the lights, and let the creatures in
And the two old men who make sure we are heckled
The Muppets Take Manhattan, Kermit rides a Schwinn

This song had a very long gestation period. Many years ago, we had that refrain line, but couldn’t quite figuring out what to build around it. And one day, it wandered through my head again, and suddenly I knew, and between us we knocked it out in quick fashion. So it took either two days or two decades to write, depending on how you look at it. 🙂

I performed this song for the first time at OVFF 2018, where I was the toastmaster. Special thanks to Merav Hoffman for playing Piggy to my Kermit.

This song appeared in the Gafilk 2019 songbook.

Redshirt

By autographedcat

On October 31, 2017

In Songs

Redshirt
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Blackbird” by Paul McCartney and John Lennon

Redshirt beaming down to planetside
Doesn’t have a name to know him by
That poor guy
He will only be here ’til somebody has to die

Redshirt beaming down to planetside
It don’t matter what steps that you take
It’s for sure
You will not survive beyond the first commercial break
Redshirts die, Redshirts die
On every world that we’re stopping by…

Redshirts die, Redshirts die
On every world that we’re stopping by…

Redshirt beaming down to planetside
Doesn’t have a name to know him by
That poor guy
He will only be here ’til somebody has to die
He will only be here ’til somebody has to die
He will only be here ’til somebody has to die

I wrote this one a couple of months ago. My friend Marcos Duran had posted his filk about Star Trek redshirts (to the tune of “Roxanne”, and the idea for this parody popped into my head.

Sour Grapes

By autographedcat

On October 27, 2016

In Songs

Sour Grapes
(or, Reflections on George Lucas’s comments about the new Star Wars film)
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Send in the Clowns” by Stephen Sondheim

Doesn’t it suck?
Don’t you agree
This film that everyone’s praising
Wasn’t by me
Send in the clones.

Isn’t it sick?
Isn’t it sad?
Everyone loves this new Star Wars
It makes me mad.
Where are the clones?
Send in the clones

Just when I’d stopped
changing the score
Finally selling
the rights for billions more
Walking the carpet again
With my usual strut
Sure of my place
No one asks, but…

What have I wrought?
Jar Jar was panned
I thought that you’d want what I want
Sorry, my fans
But where are the clones?
Quick, send in the clones!
Don’t bother, new plans

Aren’t I rich?
Is that not enough?
Seeing that Abrams succeeded
where I failed is rough
And where are the clones?
There ought to be clones?
Well, maybe next film…

Pass The Sage

By autographedcat

On October 26, 2016

In Songs

Pass the Sage
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Turn the Page” by Bob Seger

In a spacious TV studio, east of Tokyo
You can listen to the sous chefs as they scurry to and fro
And you wonder if tonight you’ll make an ice cream out of roe

And your thoughts will soon be focused on your culinary lore
When the chairman calls the challenger to step out on the floor
And you wonder if this night will be just like the nights before

Oh, here I am, stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…pass the sage

You walk into the stadium, and you stand upon the height
And you feel his eyes upon you, as he chooses you to fight
And another kitchen battle’s on; What will we cook tonight?

Sometimes you can’t hear ’em talk, other times you can
All those same old clichés: is that pudding, or a flan?
And you’re almost out of flour, but still you make it stand

Oh, here I am….Stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…pass the sage

From the moment that the grill is fired until the plates are served
All your skills and your talents are a legacy preserved
You cook to prove your iron reputation is deserved

Later, when the tastings done, and the compliments are shared
The chairman counts the ballot and the victor is declared
You know another challenge waits, and you will be prepared

Oh, here I am….Stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…there I go…

One new song debuted in my Orycon set in 2015. I actually wrote this a while ago, but decided not to post it until after I’d sung it in the wild somewhere, and that was the first time I had the chance.

Many people have written Iron Chef songs. This one is mine.

Long Haul

By autographedcat

On November 11, 2013

In Songs

Long Haul
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Kenworth Of My Dreams” by Richard Shindell

Sold my army rifle
Kept my long brown coat
My best friend said she’d follow me
Wherever I might roam
So I looked around until I found
A ship within my means
I put fifteen thousand credits down
On the Firefly of my dreams

A farmer’s daughter joined the crew
And she took the thing apart
And every coil and grav link
She came to know by heart
Our pilot, he’s a little strange
And Jayne is plenty mean
But I know they’ll stand behind me
In the Firefly of my dreams

But sometimes, late out on some shipping lane
I think of all the war had cost
Bad guys won, the good guys lost
I just wrote the whole damn system off

I think Inara likes me
But she won’t take me to bed
The doctor and his sister
Are running from the Feds
Shepherd says I’m running too;
I don’t know what he means
I’m just flying out into the black
In the Firefly of my dreams

But sometimes late out on some shipping lane
I think of all the war had cost
Bad guys won, the good guys lost
I just wrote the whole damn system off

Lately, life’s been pretty odd;
I’ve reasons to complain.
My character’s been questioned
So I’d like to make this plain:
From Ariel to Higgins Moon
And all points in between
I’ll do the job and then get paid
In the Firefly of my dreams

Yes, I’ll do the job and then get paid
In the Firefly of my dreams

There are many Firefly songs. This one is mine.

Richard Shindell writes amazing songs, and I listen to him a lot and cover a lot of his work. And a long time ago, it occurred to me that the long-haul trucker in his song “The Kenworth of my Dreams”, who sells everything he owns to buy a sort of freedom, was a spiritual ancestor to Malcolm Reynolds.

This is another song where the idea came to me and stalled halfway through, and then sat in a folder for a long time. I finished it a couple of years ago, but looking back over my blog, it appears I never actually posted it. I know I’ve performed this a couple of times out and about, once in a circle at Conflikt and once on a panel at Dragon*Con.

Boba Fett Isn’t Dead

By autographedcat

On June 18, 2013

In Blog, Songs

Boba Fett Isn’t Dead
TTTO: “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” by Bauhaus

Red on green Mandalore armor
Back on the track

Boba Fett isn’t dead
The hunter left the sarlaac pit
The Jedi have all fled
Skywalker downs the sand skiff

Boba Fett isn’t dead
Boba Fett isn’t dead
Not dead! Not dead! Not dead!
Not dead! Not dead! Not dead!

The bounty hunters file past his tomb
Strewn with time’s lost contracts
Adrift in spacial slip
Alone on a darkened ship
The clone

Boba Fett isn’t dead
Boba Fett isn’t dead
Boba Fett isn’t dead
Not dead! Not dead! Not dead!
Not dead! Not dead! Not dead!
Not dead!

Oh Boba
Boba’s not dead
Oh Boba
Boba’s not dead

Boba’s not dead
Oh Boba
Boba’s not dead
Oh Boba

Boba Fett is an interesting character. He has about 20 minutes of screen time and five lines of dialogue in the original Star Wars trilogy, and still became one of its most enduring and popular characters. I can’t really think of anything else quite like it in popular culture.

If you’re like me and your Star Wars knowledge is primarily limited to the films, you may be unaware of the complex storyline that Boba Fett is at the centre of. In particular, you may not be aware that the character did not die in “Return of the Jedi”, but in fact escaped his fate and went on to have many more significant adventures in what is called the “Expanded Universe” of Star Wars lore.

I don’t recall with whom I was chatting about Star Wars (though I have a vague memory it was either Bryan Provost or Nigel Cox), but their reaction to my comment about Fett dying in RotJ was a forceful “Boba Fett isn’t dead!”, which managed to connect to the iconic refrain of this classic Bauhaus song. Not sure what to do with it, it sat in my unfinished songs folder for weeks, until the rest of it presented itself to me.

If you’re unfamiliar with the original tune and want to skip to the bit that has words in, jump to the 2:50 minute mark of the video linked above.

UPDATE (2020): In a curious twist of fate, the TV series “The Mandalorian” has made this song canon. 🙂

Country Response

By autographedcat

On October 10, 2007

In Blog, Songs

Country Response
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” by Steve Goodman and John Prine

Well, it was all I could do to keep from dying
Somehow it seems I’m able to remain
You know I’ve always loved you for your body
Right now I only want you for your brain

You don’t have to call me George Romeo
You don’t have to call me James Gunn
You don’t have to call me Simon Pegg anymore
Even so, I think you’d better run

And I’ll chase you down as long as you run from me
I’ve never minded shamblin’ through the rain
You know I’ve always loved you for your body
Right now I only want you for your brain

Well, I polished off the dog for lunch this morning
So now you will not let me in your bed
I really hoped you wouldn’t notice I had changed
Before I started gnawing on your head.

And I’ll chase you down as long as you run from me
I’ve never minded shamblin’ through the rain
You know I’ve always loved you for your body
Right now I only want you for your brain

(Spoken: My friend Seanan McGuire wrote a song. She said it was the perfect Country & Western song. I said it was NOT the perfect Country and Western Song. It doesn’t mention mama. It doesn’t mention prison. There’s not a single train in it. And she said, “Dude, zombies.” Which is, I admit, a fair point.)

Well ever since I went and got myself infected
Ain’t nothing round this town that’s been the same
And I know I’ve never been the perfect husband
But is it fair to give me all the blame?

And I’ll chase you down as long as you run from me
I’ve never minded shamblin’ through the rain
You know I’ve always loved you for your body
Right now I only want you for your brain

This popped into my head in the shower this morning.

The Last March of Gondor

By autographedcat

On January 1, 2004

In Songs

Armored in in battle mail,
Swearing we shall not fail,
Cursing, we ride to Mordor’s Door.
Men, elves and dwarves unite
Facing the Shadow’s might
Here is a challenge he can’t ignore!

Well spent the battle cost
All hope is not yet lost
Frodo still carries the ring
You have not fought in vain
When you march forth again
You shall be led by your king.

We fought and did not yield
Pelennor’s battlefield
Now we approach the Dark Lord’s gate
Sauron we will defy
Hoping to draw his eye
Far from the one who’ll decide our fate

Well spent the battle cost
All hope is not yet lost
Frodo still carries the ring
You have not fought in vain
When you march forth again
You shall be led by your king.

One day may tell the tale
Courage of men shall fail
That will not be this day, I swear
Look on me now, Dark Lord
Reforged, the broken sword
Thought you that Isildur had no heir?

Well spent the battle cost
All hope is not yet lost
Frodo still carries the ring
You have not fought in vain
When you march forth again
You shall be led by your king.

Ultimately, this song was inspired by a typo. Gwen Knighton was discussing the second album release of her band, Three Weird Sisters and accidently typed the title of the Cat Faber song “Least of My Kind” as “Least of My King”. That sparked the idea of an LOTR themed parody of that tune.

One of the nifty additions to the movie versions of Lord of the Rings is Aragorn’s “St. Crispin’s Day” speech, as the assembled Army of the West stands before the Gates of Mordor. I imagined how bards might remember that in song, and this was the result.

This is the first song that my wife Larissa and I wrote together. It was an enjoyable experience, and hopefully one we’ll repeat.

This song was published in the Conterpoint 2004 songbook, and in “Under Filk Wood”, the songbook for Interaction, the 2005 Worldcon in Glasgow.

Sauron

By autographedcat

On January 1, 2001

In Songs

Sauron
by Robert Wynne
(Thanks to Dave Weingart for the second half of verse 1)
Music: “Do Ron Ron” by the Crystals
© 2001

He rose up out of Mordor and the sky turned black,
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron
He sent his Orcish raiders for the Ring to track
A Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Yeah….his shadow hand
Stretched…..out across the land
Best….to avoid his eye
A Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Gandalf said the One Ring was his key to power
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron
If he could regain it he would rule the hour
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Out….of Rivendell
To….the brink of Hell
We’re….off to destroy the Ring
of Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Sam and Frodo journeyed to the Cracks of Doom
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron
Threw it in the fire not a bit too soon
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron

Yeah…..the rings unmade
So…..the world was saved
And…never more we’ll fear
a Sauron-ron-ron, a Sauron-ron
A bit of silliness that came out of a long afternoon on #filkhaven. I tossed out the first half of the first verse, and Dave Weingart tossed out the second half, and I thought “Hey, that’s not a bad idea” and quickly finished it. This one is an infectious sing-along, and always helps bring the mood of a circle up.

This song was published in Xenofilkia #78 and the Gafilk 2003 songbook.

Sam’s Lament

By autographedcat

On January 1, 1999

In Songs

Sam’s Lament
by Robert Wynne
Music: “I Just Fall In Love Again” by the Carpenters (Dorff/Herbstritt/Sklerov/Lloyd))
© 1999

Dreaming, I must be dreaming
This body isn’t mine, it all feels new
Once more, I find me in another life
Al, where are you, my old friend? What is it I must do?

And oh, I just leap through time again
Right a wrong and then it happens every time
There I go, I just leap through time again
The past I roam
Hoping each leap will be the one back home

Magic, this must be magic
It’s surely not the science I have known
Dont know why fate has dealt to me this hand
Living out fragments of lives that never were my own

And oh, I just leap through time again
Life to life and then it happens every time
There I go, I just leap through time again
The past I roam
Hoping each leap will be the one back home
Hoping each leap will be the one back home

I was always a huge fan of “Quantum Leap”, and the inspiration for this song came to me while watching a rerun on the Sci-Fi Channel.

The version of this tune I used is on the Carpenters’s “Passage” album, rather than the rather uninteresting Anne Murray version.

This song was published in Xenofilkia #66.